April 2009

Where to begin? Maybe it's best I explain the mish-mash of content on the site first? This website was designed back in 2006 when I was aiming to make a living from my music. I put out an album at that time and on the surface things were looking promising. A year later I would find myself going through - I have no other word for it - some sort of profound transformation. I don't like to call it a spiritual awakening but it has been given that name by others in the past.

Whatever happened to me shattered all my illusions about myself and the world - which I found out are actually one in the same. There is no longer a centre, or what you would call "my-self". No coordinator to my life, making decisions, aiming to achieve this or that, always looking to the future, believing it will make me happier. Life itself is now in control and as a result, my life has become much simpler and not a burden.

Many things I thought I needed to get somewhere, to make me happy, have fallen away and one of them is making it as a musician. There is just nothing left in me that wants to strive and use enormous amounts of effort to play the game and do what is required to become a musician in the eyes of the world.

That doesn't mean I don't still have a passion for music. When it is there I am as into it (probably more so) than ever. When it's not there, it's gone from my system. I don't see myself as a "musician". Music sometimes happens through me, sometimes not. Obviously that makes it almost impossible to forge a career the way every other musician is able to. So that's why the website has remained stagnant with more emphasis gathering on this transformation than on music. It may be totally re-designed sometime, I really don't know.

There isn't a lot else I can say other than go through my past and how I came to this point. My past is totally irrelevant to me now and almost seems as if it never happened at all. There is no link of A, B and C bringing me to this transformation. It's all just a series of random events. For the purposes of this biography, maybe all I can do is go into it...